Innocence…

One of the surest signs of increasing age is that your birthday puts you in a reflective mood instead of an excited one. :D
As another birthday approaches, I cannot help wondering where the years have vanished to. Childhood (and innocence) seems like SUCH a long time ago. There were several incidents lately that drove this point home. One of the earlier events was a couple of months ago. I have to travel to Palghar about once a fortnight as part of my job. I was in my usual 7.30 am Ferozepur Janta Express.
Makeup was mostly avoided before leaving home; the summer heat and humidity melted it right off anyway. The train was therefore the site of choice for application of necessary cosmetics. I was halfway through applying my lip gloss when I noticed the girl sitting opposite me. She couldn’t have been more than nine or ten years old. She was watching me with a fascinated expression on her plump little face, her eyes round with wonder at this very ‘grown-up’ thing that I was doing. Egged on by her interest, I then reapplied compact, swished on some eyeliner and then proceeded to brush my hair into a glossy mass (I had long hair then). After everything was done, I put my brush back into my purse and looked straight at her with an expression of “is everything ok now?” She gave me the widest grin along with a nod of approval. She then turned excitedly to her mother, who was watching our exchange with an indulgent smile.
It was then that it hit me. As a kid I had done the same – watching grown up women with their pretty dresses and their makeup, wishing that I could grow up as soon as possible and be able to do all this. My wish had come true. I was one of the ‘grownups’ now, but at a cost. Gone was the innocence and wide-eyed wonder that coated my view of the world. I wouldn’t go so far as calling me a cynic, but a jaded feeling has crept into most emotions. Getting well and truly excited about simple things doesn’t happen anymore.